Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Grant me forgiveness and tears....

From Magnificat

March 17th   St Patrick's Day


"Forgive our sins as we forgive,"
You taught us, Lord, to pray,
but you along can grant us grace
To live the words we say.

How can your pardon reach and bless
The unforgiving heart
That broods on wrongs and will not let
Old bitterness depart?

In blazing light your cross reveals
The truth we dimly knew:
What trivial debts are owed to us,
How great our debt to you!

Lord, cleanse the depths within our souls
and bid resentment cease.
Then, bound to all in bonds of love,
Our lives will spread your peace.

Then on the other side an amazing Irish Medieval poem that I will keep to my heart always!

A Prayer to Remove the Wooden Beam

Grant me tears, O Lord, to blot out my sins; may I not
    cease from them, O God, until I have been purified.
May my heart be burned by the fire of redemption;
    grant me pure tears for Mary....
When I contemplate my sins, grant me tears always,
    for great are the claims of tears on cheeks.
Grant me tears when rising, grant me tears when
   resting, beyond your every gift altogether for love
      of you, Mary's Son.
Grant me tears in bed to moisten my pillow, so that
     His dear ones may help to cure the soul.
Grant me contrition of heart so that I may not be in
    disgrace; O Lord, protect me and grant me tears....
For my anger, my jealousy, and my pride, a foolish
    deed, in pools from my inmost parts bring forth
My falsohoods, my lying, and my greed, grievous
     the three, to banish them all from me, O Mary
         grant me tears.

Sad people.....

Here is just one of a VERY few mean and uneducated comments I have received throughout the 7 years of blogging:   I usually ignore them, pray for their little minds, and go on....but, maybe some of my readers should see how deranged and unchristian-like people can be.  So here is an example:

Vicki DePalma
Are you *currently* being sent into Hell forever ... automatically excommunicated (outside) of God’s Catholic Church ? Answer: Yes you are ... you can reverse it ... please continue. Council of Florence, Session 8, 22 Nov 1439 -- infallible Source of Dogma > "Whoever wills to be saved, before all things it is necessary that he holds the Catholic faith. Unless a person keeps this faith whole and undefiled, without doubt he shall perish eternally." You must believe the Catholic Dogma to be in the Church ... Dogma you have *never* seen. Site > Immaculata-one.com ... infallible Dogma throughout. The Catholic Faith *is not* Bible interpretation ... it is the Catholic infallible Sources of Dogma. The Catholic Church didn’t even define the Bible’s New Testament Canon until 397 A.D. at the Council of Carthage. - - - - Can a group which enforces the opposite, the opposite, and the opposite of the Catholic unchangeable Dogma be the Catholic Church? No, it cannot possibly be the Catholic on and then on an incredibly lighter side.

Wednesday, July 9, 2014


With two daughters, I know that some of these pieces that were my mom's, will go to them.  She needed to let loose of these cherished possessions that she had when she was married when she moved to independent living.  When I got married, my mom told me that I didn't need my own china set since she had 3 sets, hers, her mom's and then her grandmother's, that was perfectly fine with me. But I didn't really need them, so she kept them with her.

Now I have them.
To me, they are breathtaking.  I know that they were in the hands of precious people in my life, but long gone and almost forgotten now, you know?  I never knew my mother's grandmother, but my own grandmother was the sweetest and most loving woman.  She loved me.

All of my childhood and into my adult life, when at my mom's, I would pass by these things displayed perfectly in hutches, sideboards, and corner shelves.  I would look at them, afraid to pick them up, much less touch them in their delicacy and sentimentality.

Now they are in my house.

In boxes, with no room to display them anywhere in this former homeschooling home of books, books, and more books, they stay.  She gave me one hutch where I have some things in it, but there is so much.

What are they saying? Is is a crime?

The guilt is tremendous that they remain in boxes.  I haven't had the nerve to store them in the attic, however, maybe there is some consolation there.  Taking them out every so often to touch and remember is about all I can do....for now.  What are my grandparents and great-grandparents saying?  OK, silly, they don't care, but what would they think in life about these possessions that they knew would be passed down into the future generation? 

Not doing them justice, but....

Selling them, or giving them away would not solve the guilt only exacerbate it.  The dichotomy is that I am sentimental, but hate clutter.

Friday, July 4, 2014

Who needs ya baby?

 Well, our middle child graduated from high school a few weeks ago and over the past 2 days I have attended her college orientation.

All I've heard was how far she will go, the friends she will make, the opportunities to travel, see the world, capture that golden ring with her young life so there for her to grab!! It's wonderful, I hope she does it justice..I think she will.

Leaving her mom in the dust.....without a college degree, without a great career, without an abundance of opportunities before her......just worrying about her husband at work, struggling to find a job that she halfway can survive in to help with the college bills and get me out of the house.

what have I done all these years?

Monday, June 9, 2014

Pope Begins Audience Series on the Church
Says God Doesn't Tire of Us, Despite Our Resistance
VATICAN CITY, June 18, 2014 (Zenit.org) - The Pope says that since the Church is a mother, we shoud speak about the Church like a child speaks about his mom and family.

The Pope said this today as he began a new series of catecheses for the general audiences, taking up the theme of the Church.

To speak of the Church, he said, is like "a child speaking of his mother, of his family." He continued to say that the Church is "not an institution oriented to herself, or a private association, an NGO," and it should not "be restricted to the clergy and the Vatican." Rather, it is "a much broader reality, which opens to the whole of humanity."
Francis noted the Church was not born suddenly. "She was founded by Jesus," he said, "but is a people with a long history behind it and a preparation that began much before Christ himself."
3 Aspects
The Pontiff stressed three aspects of the Church: the first is tied to its history, the second relates to how God gave life to its people, and the third reflects how despite the faithful's doubts and resistance, God doesn't give up on them.

The History
The first aspect is tied to the Church's history, its “pre-history,” which Francis stressed is found in the pages of the Old Testament. God chose Abraham, our Father in faith, asking him to go out, leave his earthly homeland and go to another land.
Francis pointed out that in entrusting this role to Abraham, God did not call him alone, as an individual, but "his family, his relatives and all those who serve his household." He said that once God "got this underway," He "widened the horizon again and filled Abraham with His blessing, promising him numerous descendants as the stars of the heavens and the sand on the seashore. The first important detail in fact is this: beginning with Abraham God forms a people to take His blessing to all the families of the earth." He suggested this was significant, as "Jesus was born within this people."

God Gives Life
The Pope said the second aspect relates to how God himself was the one responsible for creating and giving life to his people. He said,
"It is not Abraham who constitutes a people around him, but God himself who gives life to this people."

Francis noted we witness something "unheard of" when God took this initiative to address his people. This shocks some because in other cases, it is man who is the one who had turned to the divinity, "seeking to fill the distance and invoking support and protection." In this case, however, roles are reversed, as it is God who addresses His Word to man.

Through this initiative, God creates a bond and new relationship with man. He "forms a people with all those who listen to His Word and who go out, trusting in Him." God's doing this is evidence that His "love precedes everything," the Pontiff said.

God Doesn't Give Up
Noting the third aspect, Francis said it relates to God not "tiring with us," although we resist Him.
Although Abraham and his own hear God’s call and go out, "despite not knowing well who this God is and where He wishes to lead them," this does "not mean that they were always convinced and faithful," the Pope said.  Rather, he stressed that from the beginning they were resistant, often turning in on themselves and their own interests and the temptation to bargain with God and resolve things their way."
"Betrayals and sins mark the way of the people throughout the history of salvation, which is the history of God’s fidelity and the people’s infidelity. God, however, does not tire; God has patience, so much patience, and continues in time to educate and form his people, as a father with his son."
Francis noted that God maintains this same patient, fatherly attitude in dealings with the Church.
"We also," he said, "despite our resolution to follow the Lord Jesus, experience every day our egoism and the hardness of our heart. However, when we recognize ourselves sinners, God fills us with His mercy and His love. It is precisely this that makes us grow as people of God, as a Church."
It is not our merits, but the daily experience of how much the Lord loves us and takes care of us which makes us truly feel that we are his, "in His hands, and makes us grow in communion with Him and among ourselves," the Pope said.
"This is God’s plan: to form a people blessed by His love and take His blessing to all the peoples of the earth," he said. "This plan does not change, it is always in act. It had its fulfillment in Christ and God continues still today to realize it in the Church."
"Let us now ask for the grace to remain faithful in following the Lord Jesus and in listening to his Word, ready to go out every day, like Abraham, towards the land of God and of man, our true homeland, and thus become a blessing, a sign of the love of God for all His children," he concluded. (D.C.L.)

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Something weird happened to my blog several months ago.....

does anyone know how I can fix it?  My heading pic disappeared into this funky oval blank, along with several other pictures in the blog.

Please help if you can.


Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Monies, College and jobs.....OH MY!

Well with college x2 daughters heading there in the very near horizon, my husband said that I really need to bring in more money than the 12 hours a week I do now. I agree, college is NOT cheap and the little I do bring home is basically mad money... or that small plug that stops the checkbook from bleeding for a few days until his paycheck is deposited. It certainly isn't going to pay for much in the way of tuition and/or books.

Anyway, that was a couple of weeks ago; last week a friend of mine called me and told me about the city's park and recreation looking for a visual arts instructor, so I went and checked it. I teach sewing at my job at Jo-Ann's and have taught at the community college and the "other" fabric store across town for about 10 years. The lady was excited about my experience and I'm filling out the application as we speak. But it's nights and Saturdays and very few day classes....not happy about that. But I must get extra money somehow.

Then last Thursday, this same friend's husband called me and asked if I did alterations on men suits..I said NO. He said, "Well, there's a semi-formal menswear store that needs to replace the seamstress that retired after 10 years and assisted the tailor. Hmm, sounds fairly boring and nail-scraping, but I let him have the guy call me. He called and I am going to meet with him tomorrow morning.

BUT, that's not all......I go into work yesterday and my boss follows me to the classroom and tells me he needs to talk to me about something VERY important. I said, "Jonathan, should I be scared right now?" He said, "NO, but you must promise me that you tell no one!" Ok, I said and sat down. He said that out of 169 Jo-Ann stores, 12 or so are going to be discontinuing their education departments. I said, "Ah, and we are one of them." He said yes. He said that I have options, I could go to the Jo-Ann in the next town and be the education coordinator there, but as my son put it, "Mom, that's a 'big hell-No" 50-minute drive for 12 hours a week job?? Or, my boss said, he could guarantee me my 12 hours and I'd work as a floor clerk.

Well, now what? Everything is coming at me at once and I need to make a decision. I probably shouldn't stay at Jo-Ann's since I'm basically being demoted from Education Coordinator to sales clerk, but I hate alterations, but it might pay more and....the classes at the rec center may or may not take......