Have you ever felt like just putting your running shoes on and heading out the door?....like for a long, long run? Fear of what life has in store, fear of what others will do..that will effect you? Fear of what lies ahead, the unknown? Fear of just being afraid?
Over the past year, I have had that feeling, it comes like a rush at times, to the point of running upstairs and heading to the closet for those shoes....and....then....common sense kicks in and I stop in my tracks. Not that the fear rushing in my head hasn't left, not that I all of a sudden feel the warmth of love and comfort heals my fear, not that someone said something to calm my fear, just common sense that:
1. I have kids at home that surely wouldnt understand my actions.
2. I know that they would miss me....I a damn good cook!
3. I think that they would miss my hugs and presence daily
4. I have a husband that would probably miss me, again, I'm a damn good cook.
5. I know that the Lord would be disapointed in my pitiful escape.
6. I don't know where I would go, if I went home to my family, they'd chase me back here in a quick
7. I can only imagine how this would look to those I'm teaching at church in RCIA and Confirmation class
8. I would get lonely
9. I don't have any money to spare such a luxury of escaping
10.I really don't want to escape, I wish I was stronger and more faithful in the Lord.
FAITH/HOPE/Charity.
Would you please pray for me?
2 comments:
Yes, I am praying.
I feel like that often -- wanting to run from the fear and uncertainty and stress and pressure. Like you though, I stay firmly planted where I am needed and where I am with the ones I love. Unfortunately also like you, the fear keeps running through my head.
When I was younger, I always thought the fear would dissipate as I got older. Little did I know that with the rise in the stakes comes a rise in the fear.
Anyway, thank you for sharing. I am new to your blog. I was looking for some other Catholic mom bloggers and Google brought me to you :-)
Amanda
www.indisposablemama.com
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