So we are not able to attend our churches. The doors are literally closed to the public with no end in sight at the moment. What a queer thing this whole situation is to be sure. I don't really know what to make of it either. Lately I had kind of taken on a new style of thinking....positive! How novel a thought! To take a situation or event that happens and instead of thinking how awful and why did it happen to me! I take a moment to evaluate it and see that maybe there is something I need to learn from this. I am trying here...really trying to see the positive of not being able to attend Mass. Really trying. In my whole entire life I have never been unable to attend Mass because is was closed! Reminiscing about the days of old, when we were able to attend Mass in the actual building...my thoughts trail away like this.....
Now a typical Sunday morning for my family went something like this:
Rising and shining.... need that coffee first...then I'll shine.
Sitting in the morning with my husband, drinking coffee and reading the readings for the day as we usually do during the week. I especially like readings for Sunday because we get to hear a different take on the Word than the meditation that follows the readings. We read from The Word Among Us. My husband really likes their publication. I don't eat breakfast, and then we march off to Mass.
As we drive to Mass we talk about the day, sometimes we talk about the readings, sometimes we talk about what we will do later after Mass. Anyway, walking into Church we see friends and acquaintances and say hello, smiling faces, and seemingly good vibes. We find our seat, sit and greet quietly those around us and I kneel and prepare for the celebration. Several times during Mass I will look over at my husband and give him a smile and he returns it. We usually sit close and during the Liturgy of the Word, I have my arm in his arm and it's nice. If I don't put my arm in his arm right away, he reminds me by lifting his arm for me to so. We both sing the songs and say the prayers, even though he is not a Catholic, he takes seriously the prayers and what is going on. Through the years, we have been married 27 years now, I have answered his questions, explained things, and I think he has a good understanding about the Mass. I stopped holding out for him to convert years ago and just love him where he is.
At communion, he usually comes out of the pew and stands aside to let everyone out, sometimes, if the priest he knows and is comfortable with, he will go with me for a blessing, but mostly not. I return to the pew and get a big smile from him. He crosses himself at the final blessing with me and everyone else and we sing the closing song. He usually is in charge of getting the bulletin as we walk out and he knows the head usher and they exchange a quick word. My husband is a homebrewer and found out that our priests like beer, so he usually has a beer update with the pastor as we shake hands and leave. I think that's funny...my husband is usually a quiet sort, but when it comes to beer, he will talk. Over the past couple of years, he has been the "milkman" of beer, leaving a 4 pack at the back door of the rectory and after Mass, waits to hear the review from the taste-tester priest.
Nowadays, all this has changed. Our Sunday mornings look a bit different.
We still rise and shine....after coffee that is.
We eat breakfast and maybe read the readings, but usually my husband goes out to the garden and tells me to let him know what Mass I want to watch and he will watch with me.
I'll get on the computer and decide who I want to watch, usually it's been Bishop Barron's Mass, at first I was following one of our priests who is the chaplain for the college Newman Center. He isn't as casual as many are and he has great messages. Also, he gave us updates on what was happening around the parish community.
At first I was watching the Mass offered throughout the week, lately, I haven't even looked for on in days. I don't know, just getting lazy and subdued over the whole thing. Sundays were family days and slow days, and days that I looked forward to attending Mass and now without the ability to even go to the Church to sit in adoration....I don't know how I feel...just numb, maybe.
My Sundays have morphed into a very weird unsettled worship day....really.
Praying everyday that this "stay at home" order ends soon and that businesses and churches can reopen their doors. But I don't even know what that will look like...in the beginning.
Anyway, it is my prayer for all involved in the care and medical needs of patients, for government officials to make the right choices, for those out of work, closing their businesses, and just being alone. I am praying for you.