Listening to some quiet music while quilting in my empty-nest world, I got to thinking. I do SO miss the music, the daddy/older daughter morning banter. The house is empty of the resounding thunder of feet running down a flight of stairs, the deep conversations between sisters, the long showers that drained the hot water heater, and the spinning ceiling fans that never stopped. I'm in the room our son occupied for what feels like a second of my life. It feels surreal that he ever lived here. My husband was always complaining about his mess and that he found food under his bed. The "higher-than-it-should-be" electric bill was completely our son's fault with all his electronics and high speed ceiling fan whirling 24/7.
Last year, I dressed up the second bedroom where our middle child resided as a guest room. It was so fun creating this room into a sanctuary for traveling friends and relatives. I made the curtains and purchased new fresh sheets and found a beautiful quilt that one of my husband's late aunts made was the final touch.
This year, I am turning the third bedroom into a grandchild room with one 2.5 year old grandson visiting several times a month and one on the way, it seems that the new purpose makes sense. We are blessed that the kids are all staying in town...for now. But still with all these changes within the past 5 years.....I wonder.
Did I teach our children enough? Is it too late to be an example to them? Do we still influence them in our own lives? Through the years, we were busy with the workings of life, meal prep, homeschooling and creative education, the good and the bad times, money struggles, and all the things in between. My husband was blessed with a very wise dad who made sure that his children were nurtured both in the necessities, but all in the emotion and ego side. He often inspired him with letters or visits to where he was in the rough spots of his younger years in scouting and again in his college and post doctorate years, plugging him through the spots that found his heart sinking in studies or responsibilities in his research.
Did we do that for our children?
All three of our children are out of the house, doing the grown up thing...or what people call it now, "Adulting" stuff. They are free to make their own choices and from henceforth influence the next generation.
Was what we did sustaining? Did they really and truly GET the whats and the whys of our parenting philosophy? Enough to pass it on to their children?
Well, as far as fearing goes, we must trust and pray for our children continually. I have a healthy fear of the Lord and I hope that my adult children do as well.
St. Michael, the Archangel, pray for us