As a mom, I don't think I'll ever learn everything there is to know about parenting several individuals at one time. As much as I read, listen, and watch, there is always something new to be discovered about these amazing individuals that my knight, God and I brought into the world.
Just recently, another "A-HA!!!" moment happened, it was absolutely amazing, exciting, and enlightening all at the same time.....Oh I can't stand it, it's that good! ReadY????
My daughters have been talking about filters recently, "So-and So has no filters...or "whatshername has way too many filters." We have also been talking about how some fit in at school and why some don't. I got to experience an exchange between one of the quiet students and a fellow student once earlier this year and began to understand why this quiet student hasn't fit in. The exchange went like this:
Fitting in student: "Hey let's move the desks around like this and then they could be more central."
Quiet student: pauses for several seconds.....painfully several, then finally says: "OK, that might work."
Fitting in student: stood there shifting from one foot to the other patiently waiting for the response. Another student that was part of this situation had long since gone to the next room to mingle with the activities there.
At that point, I understood part of what goes on with quiet people. My own youngest daughter is a quiet and VERY bright child. But I never understood exactly what goes on inside.
What goes on is this: They have filters....layers of thinking processes that must be done before they open their mouth.
What was actually happening in the above exchange with the quiet student was this:
Fitting in student: "Hey let's move the desks around like this and then they could be more central"
Quiet Student: looks at desks and studies the viability of the move, if the desks being
moved more centrally would in fact be most opportune to the students
sitting in them. Could they see the teacher better, hear what the
lesson was about. Then you have lighting to consider and if the airflow
would be at a comfortable level or not. Now if they don't like my ideas or think it's too stupid or something...then what? Well, it's actually a good idea and would work rather nicely more centralized..........She finally says: "OK, that might work."
Fitting in student: stood there shifting from one foot to the
other patiently waiting for the response. Another student that was part
of this situation had long since gotten bored waiting for a response and gone to the next room to mingle with the kids that talk in the next room.
My knight is another example of quiet people, he says he is very shy, but that a better way of describing it would be that he had lots of filters that had to be processed before he felt he could say something. He is also EXTREMELY intelligent, straight A's all the way through school, undergrad and graduate school. (Truly as they say, opposites attract...me the arty, chatty, majorette in the marching band )
Teachers (and parents) should NEVER try to change or penalize these individuals by telling them that they need to integrate more, or assert themselves more...not at all!! That is entirely the wrong way to go about working with these students, they are more than not EXTREMELY intelligent and probably the smartest in the class, so they should be embraced and encouraged to be the thinkers that they are.
I love my quiet people, just the way they are!!