Thursday, May 31, 2012

Sister Wives.....a marriage(s)?

Some of you may have seen the reality show called "Sister Wives" about a guy who has "married" 4 women and they all live happily with their 17 children.

Now they believe that they are all married, however, only one legal document exists with the first wife, all the others are "spiritual" unions.  BUT in this arrangement, all four women have the same wife rights and responsibilities.  From what I saw of this series, Kody Brown, the husband/spiritual partner goes to an undisclosed job each day and the four women wife/spiritual partners do the cooking, cleaning, child rearing and grocery shopping. Two of the women also work outside the home in order to keep this group of people afloat financially.

When I first discovered the program, my initial thought was, "Wow, does this guy have it made!"  Interviews with he and the four women all seem so systematic and content.  Some have been raised in this type of mentality, so it is what they know and expect for their own lives.

But is it truly a marriage?   The secular dictionary definition simply states that it is a union between spouses, the "rite or form used in marrying; any close or intimate union..."  Nothing more

In studying Pope John Paul II's work on "Theology of the Body", however, he discusses marriage in a far  deeper and complete way with the first 4 originals in the story of creation, solitude, unity, nakedness, and sin.  God created us and inspired the story of creation in the way that we have it, I firmly believe.  In the story of creation, He creates two original people to be together has partners and helpmates.  God also creates them in a marvelous place providing them with all their needs.  During this time, they are naked, no need for covering themselves in this place.  The symbolism of their being naked is a telling of itself.  In marriage, of which God also created, a couple is soul mates, companions for life, and complete each other, essentially.   A most perfect union of two people, sharing their lives, love, and creation.  They are able to create fruit from their union, thereby making a lasting perpetual testimony of their lives in their children.  Humanity depends upon this union and is carried on as the fruits of their love and cooperation.

There can be some confusion about the Original Nakedness that the late pope speaks of, but that may be due to modern man who seems to think of self rights and privacy pertains to individual freedoms; even within a marriage.  Secrets and unspoken tidbits of ones life not shared but kept in a dark place within the self.  As with Adam and Eve after their encounter with the serpent and the original sin, they found themselves ashamed before God, covering themselves at the sound of His voice.  Now there was something to withhold, keep from and ponder alone, a dark deed.  Their relationship with God has been forever changed; new emotions have been created, anger, disappointment, and a broken heart.

Couples come with their own personal baggage, more so now with the complicated circumstances of modern times.  Both have secrets, good and bad, and as the relationship blossoms, the desire to share intimate facts of their lives becomes more important.  The shedding of their past 'clothing' is necessary to  truly be accepted in the relationship, the innate desire to be "naked" with no secrets and completely open tightens the bonds of the relationship; no secrets, no dark tales or deeds to hide. Each one begins to trust and respect the other as the person of their affection.

Now back to the Sister Wives situation, how can Kody do this with all four women?  What he holds dear and private with Meri, his first and only legal wife, is not the same as his private details with Robyn, or Christine, or Janelle.  There are secrets and private things that are naturally not shared with the other three "wives" so Kody can never be totally "naked" with any of these women.  The bonds are not totally fulfilled and complete, the line of trust can never be wide open no matter what they may say.  Oh I know, there are no perfect relationships in this imperfect world, but this situation makes it all that more complicated, to say the least.

As far as the children of this (these) relationships are concerned, what examples are being transmitted to them?  I suppose that is another topic all together.


Cathmom2six said...

and you notice, no woman is volunteering to do the same thing. No woman needs or wants, 4 husbands. LOL! Everything about that is so wrong. I don't care what they say, there can be no true intimacy between the couples.

Mary said...

Maybe the wives aren't as selfish as I, but there has to be some jealousy there. He creeps me out.

RAnn said...

Just strikes me as creepy.

kkollwitz said...

God took one rib from Adam, not a fistful.

One man-one wife. Not a wife posse.