Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Living together.....why it's not a good thing

Even if you aren't a Christian, even if you are an atheist, living together is NOT a good idea.  Yeah, everybody is doing it now, it's the norm now.  Who needs to get married when you have ready and willing people to move in with you?  But, here's why it's not a good situation:

First of all, we live in a society of me, me, me...."I have a right to do whatever I want, and as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else, I can do it.  Besides, nothing is right or wrong anymore.....I don't have to be accountable for my own personal actions, just if I get caught. Me, me, me, there is no longer a 'We"  or "Us', just me, myself, and I.  So when a couple decides to 'move in' together, without a vow, they are saying, "I'm not committing myself to you for the long haul, just until the sex is plentiful and the relationship fun....then, I'm going."  I'm, I'm, I'm....me, me, me, you see?  There is no long-term goal here, no promise to take care of the other when sick, poor, and at their worse state of life...just as long as it's easy, fun, and the sex is good.  As long as the sex is good and when I want it and it's easy...that is why people move-in together.  They don't love the other person enough to make that BIG WHOPPING VOW that makes you more than just a sex object to hang with for awhile.

Well, when a couple gets formally married, they make a vow to each other.  The vow is for "better or for worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part."  right?  This means that the couple is vowing to the other, not to themselves..It is a 'you' not a "me" situation.  They are promising to take care of each other, be patient and loving to the other, stick with the other for all, and under all, circumstances.

As a person, no matter your belief system, we all need comfort, security, and love.  This is not a matter of religious values, it is a matter of basic needs. We need to drive this into these young people's minds, we need to not be supportive of this kind of living arrangement, explaining to them that they are worth so much more than a selfish situation, they are worth a solid life of consideration and love and devotion higher than the superficial.


Anonymous said...

Right on target.

Sadly, so many Christians these days (or at least people who identify themselves as Christians) have bought into the world's sexual mores. Most fool around before marriage, and even think that just living together is perfectly ok. ("But we're committed to each other, so God won't mind!")

A lot of the time, they'll claim that they want to make sure they're 'compatible' with each other. But the statistics show that living together prior to marriage does NOT increase your chances of having a successful marriage, so that excuse is a load of hogwash.

And plenty of folks that do marry go into the marriage with the same "me, me, me" mentality. No wonder we have such an appalling divorce rate in this country.


Anonymous said...

Exactly! In the wedding ceremony they always ask "Do you take _____ to be your wedded wife?" I think it should rather be asked "_____ do you give yourself as a wedded wife?"

Barbara Schoeneberger said...

I don't see how a couple living together can fully trust one another, even if they do it for years. I would be asking myself constantly, why am I not worthy of a deep commitment? Or if I were the one resisting marriage, the question would be, why can't I trust you and commit to you? Either way, hiding behind the "it's only a piece of paper" routine just doesn't wash.