Monday, November 14, 2011

Burning bridges and biting my tongue

Burning bridges is a reality that few welcome and most try to avoid, including yours truly.  But it happens, sometimes even without the ability to stop it, but can it be reversed? I don't know.....I just don't know, but what I do know is that we all have opinions and desires as to how to raise these charges that have been bestowed upon us and how we do such is affected by the different stimulus, different information, different experiences we have experienced in our lives.  But when confronted with different sets of values via invitations for my children to join in on the fun, hence my dilemma begins.

Take me for instance, my faith is the main driving force in my opinions and desires for my children.  Through the years my faith has increased both from study and experience, so my opinions and desires for my children have matured, if you will.  I see life much differently, clearer I would say than those less studied and open to the teachings of the Church.  There have been many who think I am an old stodgy-thinker, or an abstract thinker way too far fetched, or maybe they think I'm an old prude with old ideals and old values. I don't care, I know what I know and what I think and what I think is the way I am!  Period!!

It was much easier raising our children in the homeschooling arena, I didn't have to deal with mainstream ideals, my children didn't have to be tempted by modern family morals.  We were with those who thought the way we did or at least accepted us for how we thought and there was no pressure.  Now, all that has changed with our daughters in a Catholic high school surrounded by just these aforementioned "modern-thinking" people.

Why just this past spring the school held a spring dance, and at the parent's planning meeting there was a huge discussion as to the modest dress code, but in the end those of us wanting a MODEST dress code lost to the families where the girls wore strapless mini dresses and spiked heals to represent our Catholic school; a few other daughters, including our own did not attend.  Another event this fall had more strapless party dresses (with which they spend most of the evening yanking up the little dresses) in which our oldest daughter was invited.  One of the parents felt my daughter needed to borrow a dress from the many 'party' dresses of her daughters.  I don't think so, thank you very much.  She went, but on our terms, in a beautifully designed sleeveless, not strapless, dress with black and burgundy silk.  It was beautiful, she was beautiful with a matching flower in her hair.

You spend loads of money on a Catholic education to provide a safe place for the children in which to learn and grow, but allow them to act like streetwalkers when not at school?  Just the other day, a parent took me aside quietly to ask, well, her daughter wants to take some friends to see the new "Twilight" movie and then have a sleepover.  It must be well known how I feel about these things and that I even may have a point or obviously the discreet asking wouldn't have been so discreet.  My answer, as I winced at the movie choice, was "I'll think about it," sigh.  As I walked away, I thought, why send your children to Catholic schools if you are trashing their minds on the weekends?  Why bother?

Keeping some opinions to myself, biting my tongue, and venting here at the Pillars is my only option.  It's obvious that I'm nobody's chum here, but burning bridges isn't my goal.  My family has to survive these next 4 years that our daughters are in this high school.

1 comments:

deanna said...

I know more than a few parents who took thier children out of Catholic schools for the reasons you just wrote about. Having worked in a few parishes these last 15 years, has taught me that just because a person is Catholic, does not mean much in many cases. So sad. We must guard againest being "lukewarm."