Friday, December 31, 2010

What have I learned this year?

Well, its December 31st and the end of another year full of activities, good and bad events, trials and tribulations, and blessings all around. During that last few days it seems that life had decided to throw in one more lesson just to keep the momentum going in my life. Trying not to be a bummer, downer, or a sad-sap, I want to make this post a positive inventory of what 2010 brought to the table and how I handled each one.

Here's the big question, do you want to good news or the bad news first? Hmmmmmm........I need to be positive...

Ok here I go:

1. Probably the biggest lesson presented to me this year....and I know that this year was not the only time God gave me opportunity to learn this one:

I can't change someone else, no matter how I try, BUT I can change me, and try, try as I might, it can happen.

Wishing someone would be nicer, cooperate, accept change, pay attention, convert, work together, and not be so critical, whatever will not happen just because I want it to. Whomever I am dealing with, change has to come from me, not them.

My action: Prayer, the serenity prayer seemed this year to become a mantra for it will continue to be in 2011.

2. Another biggy for me was finally realizing, after all these years, that my father was merely a sperm donor. When it was fun and easy, he was there, but as the 5 of his children got older and more independent, he left. As my mother says, "I don't really know when he turned the corner", but when that happened, he no longer invested any time in us and there were other fish in the sea much more fun than we.

Probably the largest part of this lesson is how do I handle the "Honor thy mother and father" part of the Ten Commandments. How do I continually forgive as in the 70 x 70 rule?

Here in lies the original lesson learned, I can't change my father, but I can change myself and in the way I see him. I'm in charge of how I deal with him. How will I do this?

Pray for him and for my own heart for the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

3. As much as I didn't want to label my children as "teenagers" when they arrived to this phase in life, I did and I have. As we are now in the midst of 2 teen-aged daughters, moods are flying, and tempers have flared. As the mother, I would get sucked into these moods and get moody myself and plaque the rest of the day in the state of cold war. Not good, not productive, and not wise.

How will I conduct myself with the new year?

Prayer, praying for my daughters, myself, and poor husband (who would arrive home to a tense house that only a machete could cut through). But also, I have thought about it in desperate times, how can I change them!!?? NO! I need to see that they are young people going through something I have already been through. Taking them lighter than in 2010, knowing that they are struggling and that with their mom's love and patience, and possibly some wisdom, they will get through to the other side in one piece.

4. Women and politics don't mix and when they do, the result can be brutal. I have never regarded myself as the nicest person on earth, but I am way too nice to get involved in this combination. I was president of a women's political club for 2 years and boy am I more educated than before about women and their territory. How will I use this lesson in 2011?

Pray for these women that hurt/taught me during these past 24 months and stay away from women political clubs altogether!

5. When asking God for help in different situations, He always answers us. But, He doesn't just give us the help needed; He gives us the opportunity to learn how to obtain the help we need.

For example: I needed help in dealing with the many difficult women I encountered, He gave me an opportunity rise above and be Christian. I kept my tongue, for the most part kept my cool, and hopefully left the club better than it was when I found it.

The bottom line is that God wants me to keep on praying. He showed me special saints and prayers to guide me. Through the years, He has loved me and provided the grace needed to get through the rough spots.


Unknown said...

Beautifully said Elizabeth

Kitchen Madonna said...

Wow Ebeth this is such a good post for any mother to look back on her own year and to take stock. Women and politics really resonated as did the daddy thing and the mama and teengirls in thinking back to my teen years.

In other words, isn't this time of life "just special?" LOL

Happy New Years!

(do you think most people comment on Facebook and not blogs? I may have to reconsider...)